Breaking Free

As a woman, I am finally realizing that they are so many things I have been taught along the way that are supposed to help me make it in life but have grown into self defeating behavior. In this case, making it in life means achieving what other women and men have achieved. Of course this varies depending on the person and where they think the woman’s place is. By one category of people, I have been taught how to behave in such a way that I capture the attention of the man of my dreams while the other category has taught me how to perform better than a man because I do not need a man.

Of course it does not help that I have not turned out exactly as was expected by both categories of people.

When I was younger, it was easier to live life like this and I could put on the necessary hat when the need arose. I enjoyed the game of manipulating the people around me and getting them to do what I wanted done. However, I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to switch hats and personalities. I have discovered that I cannot be introverted and extroverted at the drop of a hat. I am learning that I need to be true to myself and who God created me to be regardless of the status quo. I need to find out who I am and live life to the fullest in my own skin.

I am learning that if I am to achieve all that God has designed me to achieve, I need to make different choices and break free. Break free from the mold the world has shaped me into. Break free from the status quo and expectations of people. Break free from the habits I have picked up along the way that are self defeating. Break free from mindsets and thoughts that seemed to work but left me empty. I have discovered that I was never meant to blend in or even disappear. I was meant to be truly and honestly me and sometimes that means standing out.

So, am breaking free….